Do I need therapy?

Among the many barriers stopping people from seeking therapy is the simple question: "How will it actually help?"

The answer, of course, is that it's different for everyone. But that's not what you want to hear. You want tangible answers for your specific self.

So I'm going to ask you one of the first questions you're likely to hear from a psychotherapist: "How can I help? What seems to be the problem? What brings you here today?"

Psychotherapy is a joint venture. We need you to be as invested in the process as we are, if not more. We need to know what ails you, why you're seeking therapy, to understand how we can be of service.

If we know what you need, we can help with everything from functioning a little better in a stressful world, to being a parent who has lost their identity within the role, all the way through to clinical diagnoses like PTSD, BPD, schizophrenia, or body dysmorphic disorder.

Yes, the historic belief is true: people with serious mental health disorders go to psychotherapy. But nowadays it's common to seek therapy for anxiety, depression, or even just because you're going through a hard time and simply need someone to listen in an hour that's totally yours.

For parents, or full-time carers, or anyone experiencing grief, all you may need is a place to go where, for that hour, you are the sole priority. Your feelings. Your thoughts. Your needs.

I've had many therapists over the years, and each has helped in different ways. (Apart from that one guy. We all know him. But that's a topic for another day.)

One of them asked me: "How would you like to use our time?"

My body relaxed at his open question. I told him honestly: "I'm about to study the Grief and Loss subject. I just need you to hold space for whatever that content brings up for me. I'm scared. I know it will hurt."

"We can do that," he said gently.

Those three months was some of the most beneficial therapy I've done and we had no goal! No change I needed to make. No mental health issues. No problem in my thinking. He just held space while I felt painful things, easing the burden of holding it all myself.

More recently, I've experienced how therapy can help in a different way.

In the last year, I've faced more situational stress than any other time in my life. The pressure I've been under, without question, would have sent me into panic attacks and hiding under a blanket.

It took other people pointing this out, but whilst exhausted, I hadn't realised I was still functioning. Just letting each stressor roll in, dealing with it, and moving on to the next.

The years of therapy I've done have quietly increased my resilience. Armed me with tools and awareness. To the point that I faced the worst year of my life, popped out the other side, brushed off the dust, said "well that was shit", and moved on.

A good psychotherapist should be able to be whatever you need them to be.

You need basic skills? We have psychoeducation. You need us to hold space? We've got you. You need someone to call you out on your patterns? We're here for that too.

It's all up to you.